Q: I love receiving oral sex, but my guy isn't very good at it. What can I do to improve his skills without hurting his feelings?
A: The only way to have a truly satisfying sex life is to let your guy know what does -- and doesn't -- turn you on. And, despite your fear of hurting his feelings, most men appreciate in-the-sack advice because knowing they're getting you off gets them off, too. So ask for what you want. That doesn't mean flat-out telling him that his oral techniques, well, suck. But, next time he's giving you some below-the-belt TLC, say something like, "It would feel so good if you'd lick me a little harder," or faster, or whatever the case may be. Or, you could suggest playing a sexy game of follow-the-leader. The rules: First, you go down on him using the kinds of tongue movements you'd like him to use on you. Then, when it's his turn, ask him to pleasure you the same way.
You can also teach him how to please you by using body language. If you want more pressure, push your pelvis toward his mouth or nudge his head in closer; for less pressure, move slightly away from him or gently push his head back a little bit. If he isn't hitting the bull's-eye, make a V with your index and middle finger and place it around the spot you want him to lick. More ways to direct him with your digits: Pull back the skin on yourclitoral hood, which will encourage him to lavish attention on your clitoris, or cover it with your finger if it's too sensitive for direct contact.
Of course, it's just as important to clue him in when he's doing something right. So tell him when he makes a move that sends shivers up your spine. Just saying, "That feels sooo good," or letting out a satisfied moan willdo the trick. It shouldn't take him long to catch on. And when he does, there'll be a passion payoff for both of you.
- Cosmopolitan
